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Hey friend,

Believing you’re a problem to be solved is the root of every problem you think you have.

Let me explain.

Most high performers carry a hidden belief that sounds noble:

“I’m always improving… looking to become better.”

It looks like discipline.
It sounds like humility.
It feels like progress.

But underneath?

It quietly whispers, “You’re not enough… yet.”

This is the invisible engine behind the self-help industry. It’s why people can attend every retreat, read every book, run every protocol, shout affirmations until they can’t speak anymore and still feel broken.

Personal development sells the illusion that “wholeness” is a future destination.

So you build routines, optimize systems, track metrics, heal wounds, raise vibrations…

But each attempt to “upgrade” reinforces the premise that something’s wrong with you now.

And as long as that belief is running, you’re trapped.
Because no amount of change can liberate you from an identity that’s rooted in lack.

Trying to improve from the belief “I’m broken” is like decorating a jail cell.

It might feel better but it’s still a prison.

The Neuroscience:

Your brain’s predictive models shape what you experience.
If you believe you’re “not there yet,” your nervous system will interpret the world accordingly:
→ Threats everywhere
→ Restless attention
→ Chronic dissatisfaction

Sound familiar?

This keeps your Default Mode Network hyperactive - replaying the past, forecasting the future, avoiding the now.

Your identity loop becomes self-reinforcing automatically even if you’re not saying it:
​ “I am someone who’s always becoming… but never enough.”

That loop feels real because it maps to your biology.
But it’s not the truth. It’s just a pattern.

The Flip:

What if you’re not a problem?

What if the very belief that you need fixing is the thing that’s keeping you stuck?

Understanding who you really are breaks the loop with a single observation:

You are already what you’re looking for.

Not after the next breakthrough. Not when you’re healed, whole, and optimized.

Now.

Because the one who thinks they’re broken?
Just another thought. Just another identity overlay, another pattern.
Not you.

The Practice:

Pause whatever “self-work” you’re doing today.
Just for a moment. (As hard as it might feel)

Ask:

Who is the one trying to get better?

Don’t answer from thought. Look directly.

Feel into what’s here when there’s no effort to become.

Then let this land:

You are not the one who’s healing.
You are the awareness in which the whole story of healing appears.

And you were never broken.

The Reflection:

What if I stopped trying to become anything and simply rested as what I already am?

The Reframe:

You don’t need another breakthrough.

You need to stop reinforcing the belief that something needs to break through.

There’s no finish line. No final version. Only this moment that is unfolding, complete, and never not whole.

I know it’s hard to grasp, but sit with it and try it on for size.

How does it feel?

Nic

PS. Want to rest in who you are rather than strive to be who you aren’t? Join the Neuroscience of Change - an online program rewiring what’s really running you. Name your own price (Pay What You Can) to get your hands on this powerful program.

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