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Hey friend,

Let’s flip the healing narrative on its head.

You’ve probably heard some version of this story:

“You’ve been wounded. You’ve got trauma. You’re incomplete.
But if you work hard enough, you can become whole again.”

Sounds noble.
Also? Incredibly heavy.

Because it positions healing as a long, uphill battle.
A someday destination.
A project.

And here’s the subtle tragedy:
It assumes brokenness as your starting point.

But what if you were never broken to begin with?

What if healing isn’t about becoming whole…
but remembering you already are?

The Self-Help Trap

Most healing work, especially in the personal development space gets this wrong:

• “Fix your inner child.”
• “Rebuild your self-worth.”
• “Heal your nervous system so you can finally feel okay.”

But this language subtly reinforces the very identity you’re trying to outgrow.

It keeps you orbiting the belief:

“There’s something wrong with me that must be worked on… forever.”

So you heal and grow and process and dig and journal and integrate…

…and still wake up feeling like you’re chasing something.

Because the belief in your brokenness never got questioned.

Your Wounds Are Real. Your Identity Around Them Isn’t.

Let’s be clear:
Pain is real.
Wounds are real.
Nervous system dysregulation is real.

But none of those things mean you are broken.

They are experiences.
​Not identities.

They happened to you.
They moved through you.
They shaped your wiring.

But they are not you.

You are the awareness they occurred within.
The witnessing presence.
The space that was never touched, even as the body held the memory.

That part of you doesn’t need healing.
It just needs remembering.

The “Healing-as-Remembering” Practice

Here’s something to try that doesn’t involve fixing:

1. Sit in silence for 2 minutes.
   ​ No journaling. No breathwork. No goals.
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2. Let everything be exactly as it is.
   ​ Thoughts, feelings, sensations, fatigue, confusion. Don’t shift it. Don’t judge it.
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3. Ask silently:
   ​ “What in me is aware of all this?”
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4. Rest there.

This isn’t about changing state.
It’s about returning to what was never affected by the state to begin with.

From there, healing isn’t something you do.
It’s something you remember.

Final Thought

You don’t need to heal into wholeness.
You need to remember from within it.

Yes, do the work.
Yes, release the patterns.
Yes, tend to your nervous system.

But do it knowing that underneath all of it…
there’s nothing to fix.

Just layers to shed.
Stories to drop.
Masks to remove.

Until what’s left is the you that was never wounded-
only hidden.

And that’s not a goal.
That’s your nature.

Nic

PS. Want to learn to sit in this awareness? Join the Neuroscience of Change - an online program rewiring what’s really running you. Name your own price (Pay What You Can) to get your hands on this powerful program.

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